I thought long and hard about writing this. I’ve mentioned this before but I think the church as a whole idolizes romantic relationships too much and I did not want to be thrown into that category of couples. The love story of the Bible is not between Ruth and Boaz, Adam and Eve, Joseph and Mary…it’s about Jesus and the world. Today is a great day to get saved. Secondly, knowing that this post will likely get a handful of views I want to make sure I can honor and represent God in an accurate way. Of course, that’s always a goal but it’s a little more stressful when you know a lot of people are going to read this. Hey, I’m Kira!
Then I realized, oh wow except for our families and our select few friends, people have not seen us together nor have seen us truly grow in this relationship, and now here we sit, wonderfully engaged with a wedding planned this summer. So, let me give you a little snippet of our story. Take this as a life update from yours truly.
For the college students who jokingly say, “Christian housing is where you meet your future spouse”, though that is not the case for most individuals, that’s exactly where we met. Cue the cheesy rom-com music. Ben moved in winter quarter 2020 and I nearly spent those ten weeks coming up with silly schemes, “game plans”, and excuses to talk to him. I had the biggest crush on this man yet was so nervous when I would simply approach him. From the “hey, can you do me a favor?” to the “let’s go to a worship night together”, I felt like I could barely keep up a conversation due to my stomach being tied in knots. It felt like middle school all over again. I thought I knew how to talk to guys but was completed humbled by the utter panic I felt when I couldn’t think of anything else to say rather than the ol’ “how are you?” I’m sure it was amusing. Before meeting Ben I was that woman that said something along the lines of “I don’t understand how girls don’t know when a guy likes them. It’s so obvious!” Yet, I could not read him to save my life, and in retrospect, that played into God’s perfect timing.
Right before finals occurred, COVID-19 started making its way into the picture. We thought it would last like two weeks but hey, here we are today, close to a year later. We went from barely talking to not talking at all…I mean, what are you going to do in the middle of a pandemic? Plus, at this point, we STILL could not read one another. I had no idea if this was just the guy that lived next door, my friend, or someone interested in me. This ended up being a very good thing though; praise Jesus.
My Christian and my non-Christian friends, take my anecdotal evidence as is. I do encourage you to look into the science, statistics, and historical evidence of who God is and who Jesus claimed to be. When the virus was on the rise and I was still single, like I said previously, those were the best months of 2020. Let me be completely honest I was insecure, petty, and as close to desperate as you can be without compromising your values. I had this insecure-driven clock and I felt like if I did not find a guy soon…all hope was lost, very dramatic indeed, but brutally honest. And as embarrassing it is to admit, maybe my single friends can relate to this, my heart was set on being filled by something imperfect and temporary rather than something eternal and ever-lasting. This isn’t new. Read the book of Ecclesiastes. You know the pain of putting your value and hope in something that was never meant to be perfect nor eternally fulfilling. Some choose their school, some choose friends, some choose work, I chose guys. Yikes. I am so thankful that God did not allow me to jump into a relationship with an ill-filled heart and unhealthy mind. I am so glad none of those other first dates worked out.
God radically changed my heart and my view of relationships between March and May 2020. You read about that growth. I needed those months to revisit what it means to be made worthy in God’s eyes. I needed those months to remember who I am and whose I am. And it would be cheesy, ridiculous, and inaccurate to pull out the “because I finally found my worth in God, He provided in my love life.” I’m just a college student, you expect me to know God’s plan and intentions behind everything? He’s good regardless whether He gives or takes away. He’s God regardless but all I can tell you is what has been said and promised in the Bible, that’s it. I can’t speak for God. I say this to be realistic with you as the Christian life is not easy. You are not necessarily blessed with wealth, health, or anything else your heart desires. God is good regardless. God loves you regardless, but that does not mean you are promised every desire you chase, no matter how hard you pray. I awkwardly have to bring this up because I love you and I care about you and I want you to know who God actually is. Take the Bible for what it is. The best gift is salvation through Jesus. It’s faith alone in Christ alone my friends. Now that I got that out, shall I continue?
Our first date was over FaceTime at the beginning of May, oh how virtual dates will always have a special place in our hearts. We pursued this relationship with the intention of dating to marry. We both knew that if we did not see this leading to marriage that we would break up as we did not want to “waste one another’s time” as we phrased it. Even before our first date, my prayer to God remained the same as every single day, “Jesus, if this is in Your will and a part of Your plan, please continue to show us that. Please bless our relationship. Yet God, as much as I would like this to work out, it’s You above anything else so please protect our hearts and if this is not meant to be, please let us know so we can peacefully end this.” Well, it was some variation of that.
From hikes, picnics, and kayaking, early on we knew we were to serve God together as a team. I hate cliché phrases but “when you know, you know” sums it up. I cringe but it’s true, well, it was for our relationship. I glanced back at my prayer journal and even since late May, my prayers consisted of sentences to Jesus talking about how I could see myself marrying Ben. Even though it felt like Jesus was pretty dang loud and clear with what was to come with our relationship, both Ben and I are skeptical people and so we proceeded to date with wisdom and caution. I admire that about him.
We sought our family, friends, and mentors to make sure that we had others looking at our relationship and offering as much biblical wisdom as possible. For making one of the most important decisions of my life, I am so thankful for my Christian community. The book of John ends with talking about the miracles of Jesus, John says, “Jesus also did many other things. If they were all written down, I suppose the whole world could not contain the books that would be written” in verse 25. In the least cheesy way possible, if I were to write about God’s perfect timing leading up and throughout this relationship, this blog post would never end. From the way, Ben moved in just before the COVID-19 fiasco, the timing of our dates, Ben’s unexpected work plans, etc., God gets all the glory for His perfect timing. Soon enough after talking to each other and our loved ones, my best friend proposed to me on January 17, 2021.
He and I are far from perfect, you’d pick that up pretty quickly from a simple conversation with the two of us, but God is. I am grateful that we’ve had so many people help us in keeping God in the center of our relationship as He prepares both of our hearts for marriage. I wish more people could have seen our relationship progress because I promise you the timeline is not nearly as “rushed” as it may appear. I smile at the day that we are out of this pandemic and you are able to celebrate with us. It is surreal being engaged to my best friend! I have a fiancé with a face and a name; that’s insane! Praise God and His perfect timing. #CheersToTheGauthiers
I briefly share this life update not only because we are filled with so much joy and excitement as our summer wedding approaches. I share this because I ask for prayers for us. I just ask that you pray for wisdom as we now plan a wedding. Please pray that we continue to keep God, the only perfect One, in the center of our relationship as we date. I ask that you pray that Ben and I can have a marriage that honors God above anything else. I am thrilled to share this news with all of you. We are ecstatic! Praise God. I hope, friends, that you see Jesus through this story. Ben and I are two imperfect people who long to serve a forgiving, gracious, and loving God. The love story of the Bible is not about a relationship between two people but between Jesus and the entire world. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. Today is a beautiful day to be saved.
If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9
For my non-Christian friend still reading this. Hi, I care about you. The interesting thing about this story is I could have ended it with “Praise Allah” or “Trust the universe” but I chose “Praise God”. I tell you this so I can be explicitly clear to my friend who does not know Jesus. This story does not prove the existence of God more than the existence of some other deity because it’s anecdotal evidence. I am being straight up with you and I want you to take my anecdotal evidence as plainly anecdotal evidence. So that being said, I ask you to consider what truth is. Seek and pursue truth. Look at the evidence, science, historical facts, statistics that point to and against the Christian God. My research has led me to know with certainty that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). Salvation is a beautiful and free gift from God. May I encourage you to investigate what truth is? May I encourage you to consider that Jesus may have been exactly who He claimed to be? I care about you and I want to make Heaven as crowded as I can.
For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
But if you’re not ready to give your life to Christ, that’s totally okay! I invite you to join my journey as I continue to live my life through faith and grace. Let me share with you how Jesus changes everything.