All Eyes on Me / Part 4

Hey friends, it’s been awhile.

Maybe you’ve caught on, maybe you haven’t, but I like “story-time” type posts. My goal with these types of posts is to tell you a (complete) story, one that’s interesting, entertaining, and once you’re done reading I hope there’s some part of the story that you can take from as you move on with the rest of your day. Today, I will not do that. Today’s post consists of a life update. This update consists of four parts.

Academics: I am in my second (winter) quarter at the University of Washington. School is still incredibly challenging. I am taking matrix algebra, physics and philosophy in law. It’s been hard so far. It’s a little less stressful than last quarter. I am able to get more than five hours of sleep, most nights, but school is still tough. My hard work isn’t paying off. I work hard. I work harder, but my tests scores don’t reflect that. I still don’t really know what I’m doing here honestly. I feel like I’m not nearly as smart as everyone else here. These kinds of thoughts definitely pop up at least once a day. That being said, this is an honest post, but I don’t want it to be a sad post. Overall, this quarter has been really tough but I’m handling it better than last quarter.

Social: Currently, I am still living at the same house with seventeen other women and it’s been great. This ties into part three of this update, but this community I have is so supportive. It’s nice knowing you always have someone praying for you. It makes the hard days a little less stormy. Anyway, the house is great. The people are still great. I’ve made a lot of good friends here. I’m so grateful for them. Don’t tell anyone this, but I am thinking about running for an officer position. Elections are this month. I’ll keep you updated, but for right now, let’s keep this idea between you and me…

Faith: I’ve grown a lot in my faith and it’s incredible. Since January 1st of this year, I’ve read my Bible every single day. I’ve helped lead worship. I’ve never been one to pray before dinner or pray out loud with others, but recently I’ve been doing it a lot and it’s such a good feeling. Hopefully, the shaky voice thing I have going on wears off soon haha. Academically, I might not be seeing improvement, but spiritually, I am enjoying who I am becoming. I still face countless hard days and there are times where it’s difficult to know God has a plan for me. That being said, I am trying to be more content. I am trying to keep my eyes and my thoughts on Him. The goal is to find my worth in Him and not on my academic successes & failures. Since the new year, I have been reminding myself of Psalm 23:6 every single day, after every high and every low I face.

New: A little disclaimer, yes I do know and understand that I don’t need to worry or stress about it at this moment, but this has just been something that’s on my mind. I don’t know what to do if I don’t get into my intended major (mechanical engineering). I apply in the summer and will have the opportunity to apply the following year if I don’t get in, but if I don’t get in, I don’t know what my back-up plan is. You see there are two-ish paths I can take:

1. Leave the University of Washington and major in mechanical engineering somewhere else
2. Stay at the University of Washington and hope to get into electrical engineering or industrial engineering

I feel kind of stuck because I don’t know how badly I want to major in mechanical engineering, especially because I haven’t taken a lot of ME classes and also, I don’t have enough experience for me to say, “no” to other engineering fields. Anyway, I could go on and on about this all night, but I won’t. Again, this is not something I need to figure out today or tomorrow, but this has been something on my mind. As with everything else, I’ll keep you updated. I figured I should throw this in just so you and I both know what I’ve been thinking about. Maybe you’ve been in a similar situation or you are in a similar situation; I’d love to know.

There it is. My life update told in four parts. Thank you for all the support. I really appreciate you taking the time out of your busy day to learn more about me and what’s going on in my life. Thank you. As you go on with your day or night, let me leave you with one of my favorite verses:

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 

Psalm 23:6